M. Plančiūnas. Children's expenses on non-existent items: problem or opportunity for dialogue?

If you’ve spotted charges on your bank statement linked to your child’s favorite game – maybe for a virtual sword or armor – your first reaction was probably, "Are they really spending real money on things you can’t even hold?" That surprise is completely natural. But rather than responding with anger or blame, I encourage you to view this as a valuable opportunity. It’s the perfect chance to teach your child about the value of money, responsible choices, and the fundamentals of financial literacy – in a way that speaks their language and connects to what truly interests them.

Adults might struggle to understand why paying for virtual armor or a unique weapon design feels worthwhile. But think back to your own childhood – we collected basketball cards, spent money at internet cafes or arcade machines. These were our ways of fitting in, standing out, and expressing ourselves. Today, much of children' s world has moved into the digital realm. Internet cafes and arcade machines have been replaced by virtual game accessories. A prime example is the platform Roblox, which features its own thriving virtual economy. On Roblox, children purchase the in-game currency Robux with real money and spend it on character accessories or game upgrades that they desire.

These and similar virtual purchases have essentially become a form of social currency for children. This is a crucial distinction we need to grasp. While for us such spending was merely a pleasant extra, for children – whose online lives are as natural as being outdoors is for us – virtual items have become nearly essential. It’s no longer just "discretionary spending," something allowed only after basic needs are met. For today’s generation, virtual assets represent a significant part of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs – a means to attain social status, recognition, and self-worth.

In reality, we’re dealing with entirely new principles of e-commerce that, as parents, we often don’t fully grasp or have much control over. Platforms like Minecraft and Roblox function as closed ecosystems – self-contained worlds with their own virtual currencies and unique rules. Within these environments, value and meaning are defined not by external logic, but by the game developers themselves. This is why applying traditional ideas about the value of items often falls short – and is likely to fail.

When a child asks to buy a new "skin", that need is just as real and important to them as our need to fill up the car with fuel – without it, they simply can’t feel fully part of their community. For children who are used to spending time online, there’s no difference between the joy a physical toy brings and the satisfaction of a virtual upgrade – the pleasure and fulfillment are equally genuine. Recognising this difference lets us move beyond judgment and open the door to honest, meaningful conversations.

The key isn’t forbidding, but guiding and teaching through involvement. Here are some practical steps:

• Budgeting instead of banning. Instead of simply granting or denying your child’s requests, provide them with a weekly or monthly allowance to manage on their own. If they spend it all on virtual items, they’ll naturally face the consequences – like not having money left for other things they want. Sometimes, they may ask for extra funds even after their budget runs out. In these cases, show some flexibility – it’s okay to help occasionally, but use the opportunity to discuss why extra money was needed and how to avoid similar situations in the future. This approach not only offers emotional support but also fosters self-reflection and encourages more responsible money management.

• Discuss the value. Ask your child why a particular purchase matters to them. What does it represent? Often, these desires stem from a wish to fit in or keep up with peers. This opens the door to conversations about smart spending and the reminder that our worth isn’t defined by possessions – virtual or otherwise.

• Lead by example. Children are mirrors of our behavior. If we frequently make impulsive online purchases for things we don’t really need, it’s unfair to be upset when they do the same in their digital world. Demonstrating financial discipline yourself is the most powerful lesson you can give.

Remember the sci-fi film Surrogates starring Bruce Willis? In that story, people abandoned real life and experienced everything through perfect, remotely controlled robot avatars. They chose a world that was more beautiful and safer – but ultimately artificial. While it’s just fiction, the film powerfully highlights the extreme consequences of retreating too far into virtual spaces. Our role is to help children find and maintain a healthy balance between the real world and the digital one.

The key takeaway? The fundamentals of managing money don’t change – whether you’re buying a pair of shoes or a virtual spell. Let’s embrace this new digital reality as a chance to nurture responsible, thoughtful, and financially savvy individuals.